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You Stink

Your Abercrombie
Cologne makes me wish I had
Tampons in my nose.

Take a Toaster in the Bath?

You honestly tried
Unit in the sink?

Put The Phone Down

Get off your goddamn
Cell phone during our meeting;
Angry Birds can wait.


Talking over my
Presentation? I will scare
The SHIT outta you.

Picking Up the Slack

All this extra work!
It’s a joy to complete YOUR
Daily assignments.

I Wish You Had a Mute Button

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The “Mute” burton is
Not how you fix a machine
That keeps alarming.


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I am very good
At what I do, but I’m not
A superhero.

Please back off and give
Me some space, or all your pleas.
Will fall on deaf ears.

Can’t Carry a Tune in a Bucket…

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All your out-of-tune
Whistling and humming just makes
Me wish I was deaf.

Timid as a Mouse

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Humility is
Fine with me. Timidity,
Though, makes me insane.

Your Stupidity Costs Money

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Your forgetfulness
Will cost thousands of bucks when
You break that machine.